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S, You shall find my body in the place I always seeked when I felt most alone aka the attic where all our memories are stored)* info link, *If you are reading this then it must mean I have chosen to take the easy way out of this miserable life, As you can guess by this note I have chosen suicide as the only option to a life I never chose to live, I hope that the one who reads this note can fully understand that I was never happy when i walked the earth, Was never happy breathing, Was never happy living a life I didn't desire, I would rather die and give someone new a chance to live, Anyways as I can probably guess you are all wondering why I did it other than the obvious fact I never wanted to live, Well it all began a short while ago when I met a certain girl who for all intensive purposes shall remain nameless for the time beign, She was hand on heart honest to god my perfect match, No person alive or dead could ever possibly match up to her in any aspect, Although to some people she was never considered the most beautiful to me every time I stole a single glance I saw an angel staring back, Every word she spoke managed to leave my heart beating a little faster each and every time, Every time we managed to have a conversation I will honestly admit that she left me speechless, Everytime we spoke I could never form a complete word, Everything I ever managed to say came out as a stutter and made little to no sense, I guess i have gone a little off track but still I hope you understand one of the reasons I chose death over the life I once lived, That girl who shall still remain nameless was one of the few reasons I saw death as the best option, The other reasons are as follows, I was alone, Ever since I lost the nameless girl I have spent my life alone, Nobody knows me, Nobody has ever once cared that I really do need help, Nobody has ever once cared that I walk the streets alone in hopes that maybe someone would see the broken figure hidden behind the mask of tears, Nobody has ever once had the decency to just stop and ask why I look so sad, So yeah there are two reasons, A girl who left me broken, Who left me depressed and for all it's worth the second reason will always stand that I'm alone and the world never seems to care, Guess the next reason could be classed as boredom, Yeah such a simple thing that in my life has become something so major, In most people's lives when they are bored they just pick up a book, A game, Watch the television or go hang out with their friends, With me been bored leads to things much more dangerous, The knife is always my favourite past time, See how long it takes for the pain to become too much to bear, See how much blood seaps out the cuts I leave on my arms, See how many places I can leave a scar without them been noticed, Yeah such fun times, Of course alchol was always fun aswell, Getting drunk was always a great past time, So yeah that's another reason for this note, I was bored, So bored of life, So bored of been alone, So bored of having to live the life most people are content with, Okay I guess the final reason would have to be that I was tired, I was so tired of living the same day over and over, Yes days passed but to me each and every single day seemed the same, I was in a rut, I did the same things day in day out for even I can't remember how many years, My life became such a repetition that I became more and more tired with each day that passed, So I guess there the reasons for why I chose to take my life, A girl, Being so alone, Boredom and of course being tired, I know they don't sound like much of a reason but I want whoever may read this note to understand that them four minor reasons combined became one big reason, Being depressed and alone while also being very tired and extremely bored, Such a bad combination, Anyways I guess the whole point of this note is to say goodbye and to let you all know the reason I left this life, So goodbye and goodluck to all, I wish my family all the best and hope they can forgive my choice, Hope they can understand that I wanted this more than anything, Hope they understand that even in death I will still love them till the end of time itself, I also hope that the nameless girl can understand that if she ever reads this I just want her to know that I do care deeply about her, I do still love her and I doubt that love will ever fade, Even if my heart has no beat I will still feel a heartbeat everytime I think of her, Hope she can remember the good times we shared and remember that I never blame her for breaking me, Want her to remember that in the end all's I wanted was for her to be happy even if that meant I could never be, Okay now I know this has gotten a little long so I will finish as quickly as I possibly can, I hope you all carry on with life as if I never existed, Just let me go and forget about me as so many people already have, Goodbye I do love you all (anyone who reads that, those last lines are meant for family only), Guess I can finally be at peace, Goodnight world.
Kelsey Amateur Brunette Ftv Gi